About Me
Hi!
My name is Lucas and I am 26 years old. I created this website for the purpose of sharing my projects and completed works. I focus on computers, technology, programming, and creating mods, plugins, etc., for various games. However, my main priority is Source games and Minecraft. I once owned my own gaming portal called "grand-gaming". Its glory didn't last long, as over time I didn't take much care of my Minecraft server (which was also the only server). The reason was simple - I had other hobbies, and I was still kind of figuring myself out. I didn't know exactly what I enjoyed. Today, at least partially, I do. Players used to play there, but as time went by, there were fewer and fewer of them until the server eventually became unplayable. One of the reasons was also that my server was allegedly "pay to win," which I don't think was entirely true. Managing a Minecraft server when you are the only one in the admin team is challenging, even if it may not seem so at first glance. In the end, I shut down my game servers because it was no longer financially worth it for me, and I took a complete break from administrating anywhere for a few years. I simply wanted to be an ordinary player and enjoy the game instead of just overseeing it. As time went on, I even stopped enjoying multiplayer games and switched entirely to singleplayer. In the meantime, I started developing my other projects. For example, I plan to recreate maps, including story and action, from the original game Forbidden Siren 2 in Garry's Mod. Another thing on my list is to create a completely original game in Unity 3D. So, there are projects. On top of that, I also make videos on YouTube and occasionally stream (you can find my channel lower on this website - Links). One more thing I can say about myself is that I'm an introvert and I don't like crowds. I'd rather play something at home with friends than go out to some party. I am incredibly grateful for Gemini, because only thanks to it I can fulfill my dreams today.
Until now I was mostly writing about what I once had and what this website is about. Now I will focus more on myself. I want to emphasize that I am not writing the following content so that someone would "pity" me, but you may take some inspiration from it if you see yourself in it or have experienced something similar.
I did not grow up in the best family. I spent my childhood on the computer in my room. I went to school, but my grades were not good. Even as a kid, I realized that going to school does not guarantee a job. I did not study, I kept bringing home bad grades (I am Slovak, I do not know how the grading system works in American schools, so I describe how it works here, specifically for me). My parents loved me, but they had no experience with raising a child. They showed me love, which is of course nice, but a child also needs discipline, guidance, and someone who teaches them what to do, instead of just punishing and forbidding things, and then at night before sleep your mom or dad says "I love you honey" and thinks that this "fixes" the entire day and replaces parenting. No... that is absolutely not how it works. My parents loved me, but when it came to communication, it was not good. My mom could not work because she had a heart illness and lived entirely on medication, barely eating. My dad, who was supposed to step up and take responsibility, decided "I do not care. I will work from morning until night, put the family in debt, and we will not have money for rent or food." And that is exactly how it was. We lived in poverty. My dad was at work all day long, and all the money went straight to the bank to pay debts, to an executor, and we did not even have enough for rent. I remember how my mom sometimes went into trash containers outside our building to look for toys for me, because we did not have money to buy any. We lived like this until I was about 15 years old, when an even bigger turning point happened. My dad started cheating on my mom and found a younger woman (my dad was about 52 at that time, my mom 59, and he found someone who was 33). I found out because I had access to his Facebook account and I secretly checked his messages (I was a kid, curious...). When I discovered it, I told my mom, who obviously felt hurt. Just to clarify, the relationship between my mom and dad had stopped functioning already when I was about 3 years old. It was clear that my dad no longer loved her. They argued, did not understand each other. However, my mom still loved him despite everything. So... I was already 15 when I learned what I learned. My dad then began persuading me to move in with him, and in the end I had no real choice because I was 15, still attending elementary school (stuck in 7th grade), and my mom was heart-sick, so it would not have worked. So I went with him. My dad needed to literally remove my mom from the apartment because he needed it free for his new love. He therefore put my mom into a hostel, where she practically had nothing. Just a TV and a bed.
For about a month or so we lived with his new partner, and at the beginning we got along well. She was nice to me, nothing indicated that this "kind mother" would later turn into a monster, a terrible person. After that month, we moved into a family house in another city. It had always been my dream to live in a family house. That is when things began to change.
I still did not study, brought bad grades from school, and lied to my dad and his new partner. But... I am getting ahead of myself, so let me slow down a bit. When we moved into the house, everything was fine at first. My dad's new partner (let us call her Jennifer for this story) also had an 8-year-old daughter, and we got along well. Since I have always been a good soul with a kind heart, I also took care of her and protected her.
As time passed, I began noticing that something about Jennifer was becoming wrong. She stopped taking care of me and stopped showing interest. Let me emphasize that her former boyfriend warned my dad that she was a bad person, but we ignored it. That was a mistake.
One day the situation escalated. Jennifer found out that I was lying about my grades in school (I was hiding grades, not because I wanted to hurt anyone, but out of fear). She learned this at a parent-teacher conference. Before continuing, I want to add that before Jennifer found out that I was lying, my dad had already married her. He was not able to propose to my own mother during more than 20 years together, but he proposed to Jennifer within less than a year.
Continuing... so she found out at the conference that I was lying. From that moment, her true nature revealed itself. She began literally hating me. Years later I found out that in the end it was not even about the school grades... but I will get to that.
If I came home from school and did not immediately go take a shower, she would pour cold water on me. And not just a cup - she would fill an entire bucket (around 10 liters) and pour it all over me while I was sitting on my bed changing clothes.
One day I got sick with the flu. I stayed home from school and lay in bed. My dad was at work and Jennifer was home with me. She prepared some medicine for me, but since I did not trust her anymore, I refused to take anything and threw it away. I did not even know what she was giving me. I was in my room and she was preparing the medicine in the kitchen.
And what did my dad say or do about all this? Nothing. He was on her side. He betrayed me as well. He was literally willing to sacrifice his own child just so he could maintain his sexual relationship.
As time passed, Jennifer's behavior worsened. She stopped cooking for me, stopped washing my clothes, and eventually I was only allowed to sit on my bed and could do nothing else. She took my computer away, I could not watch TV, and she taught her daughter that I was dangerous, telling her to avoid me. I was at home, but as if visiting someone else - I could not do anything. She did not give me food or anything else. Sometimes she bought me a baguette. My dad, Jennifer's daughter, and Jennifer's disabled brother (who lived with us and whom she was supposed to take care of) had normal meals every day. He never hurt me, so I will not mention him further.
I was always a fearful type, always avoided conflict, always just nodding and agreeing with everything even if I did not like it (a result of my upbringing). One day I gathered enough courage and wanted to "get back at her" for her behavior. So I took one random spoon from the kitchen and threw it away (it was the only idea my young self had). And this became the turning point.
When I did this, I had just turned 18 (it happened only 2 days after my birthday). I had just started working for the first time, in the automotive industry. One day I came home late from my afternoon shift and got an unpleasant surprise. Jennifer had found out about the spoon. And at that moment she showed what she was capable of.
She started beating me. Punching, kicking, throwing things at me. My dad joined her. Instead of protecting me as his son, he sided with her and slapped me hard. She assaulted me violently. Then she threw me out of the house that night.
And that was the beginning of my adult life. Only 2 days after turning 18, I ended up on the street. I still went to work, but after work I had nowhere to go. I survived outside in various places, mostly under bridges so no one would see me. I went to work dirty and smelling, and because of that I became a target of bullying.
I had two options: either stand up for myself and fight, or give up and just "survive" a few more days or weeks. I chose the first option. Whenever I was not working, I walked around the city. At night I dug through trash containers looking for food. I lived on the street for 2 months. Then I saved money and found my first accommodation thanks to a coworker, who gave me a contact to a hostel.
Living there was not pleasant. Other residents used drugs and drank heavily. I never had the desire to take substances or drink, and I still keep that to this day - I do not smoke, drink, or use drugs. I lived in that hostel for about 2 years, until I turned 20.
Then the owner sold the hostel and I had to move out. Fortunately, I found a new job (still automotive industry) and met a colleague who rented out a room in his large apartment. There were four of us living there. At first it was fine, but things eventually worsened. The owner broke up with his girlfriend and moved into the apartment, taking the last free room. Then a Serbian man moved in, along with a Ukrainian man who was fine. But the Serbian tenant was a problem. Since he became good friends with the owner, nothing was ever resolved. I could not sleep because he made noise at night. He was extremely irresponsible and nearly caused the apartment to burn down four times because he fell asleep while cooking.
We lived like this for about 5 years, until I was 25. I went to work tired, checked the kitchen at night to make sure we were not burning, and so on. The owner later lost his job in 2024 and spiraled down completely, started hanging out with drug users, and eventually started using drugs too. Since his new friends had nowhere to live, he let them stay in his room for free. They were extremely loud, especially at night, since they slept during the day.
Later I learned from the building manager that the owner was not paying his mortgage or loans. We even lived without electricity for a while because he did not pay the bill. Eventually the bank seized the apartment, and we all had to move out.
So I found a new place to live, and I live there to this day (for over a year now). I have a good, professional landlord and finally an entire apartment to myself.
And regarding Jennifer... eventually I found out she did all of this because she wanted to have her own child with my dad, and she wanted to get rid of me. It was her plan from the very beginning. I learned this from someone who used to work with her and knew things. And she succeeded - she and my dad now have a 5-year-old son. My dad (I no longer call him that, he is a stranger to me, but I write it here for clarity) still messages me saying he regrets everything, that he no longer loves Jennifer, and that he wants to live with me. And guess what happened recently... he made another child with her. So as I am writing this (21.11.2025), Jennifer is pregnant again with their second child. So... he claims he does not love her, wants to live with me, but has another child with her. Something is definitely not right in his head.
Because of all of this, I have been suffering from depression, anxiety, Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families (ACoDF) syndrome and post-traumatic stress disorder since I was 18, until today. Life is hard, my thoughts constantly return to the past, and I am an overthinker. But despite everything, I try to move forward, and this website and my projects help me continue. They allow me to disconnect from reality for a moment. There are so many thoughts and I cannot control them. So playing PC games, working on this website, and working on my projects is a form of relaxation for me. It is a moment where I feel safe, because I have lived my whole life in "survival mode" and I am overly cautious about everything. And I struggle a lot with trusting people (for obvious reasons). I live alone, I have no girlfriend and never had one. But... I am alive.
Thank you for reading my story. I know... it sounds like something from a movie, and I wish it was only a movie. But unfortunately, it is reality. I am trying to work on myself and build my life. I definitely do not want to follow in my father's footsteps.